You really coming over, don't trick.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
