You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
