Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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