i think my tv is drunk
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
