I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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