i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
