proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
