i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
