Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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