how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
