We need to rekindle our bromance
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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