so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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