Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize