playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
