I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
