I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
