Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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