You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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