you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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