No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
