haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
