We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
