the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
