Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize