you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize