His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize