What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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