sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
