It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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