I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do vagina's smell?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
