Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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