I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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