I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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