i will never coherently bang her
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
