elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize