sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My cat gives me a boner
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
