i don't like sucking hair
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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