Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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