let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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