the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
