goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
