i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
