Already got asked if we're dating
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize