I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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