You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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