So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize