I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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