I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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