I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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