Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
