does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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