Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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