Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
