Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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