is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
