my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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