No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
