: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so that wasnt chicken after all
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
