UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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