I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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