You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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