ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
