a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
